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Voice of the Fox
The Newsletter of the Martial Arts Training Service

Summer Camp Insights
by Jan Moretti
Autumn 1998

After three years of avoiding aikido Summer Camp, the time to go arrived. My youngest child no longer needed my undivided attention, I had survived several seminars, and -- most important -- we had frequent flyer miles that expired in the summer.

I had no idea what to expect at camp, but after hearing warnings reminiscent of Dante's descent into Hell, I feared the worst. I felt the same way I did each summer at the pool, hesitating because the water was cold, but knowing I should just jump in. Part of me wanted to skip the first class, but I felt better once I got my feet wet.

During that first class, I fell into my high school gym persona and practiced the fine art of invisibility. I lined up in the back and kept a low profile. But once, my partner and I had no clue how to do the technique just demonstrated, so Chiba Sensei kindly threw both of us to illustrate it. Two clueless people working together doesn't help one's invisibility.

The University of San Diego campus is beautiful. The weather was a bit cool, which disappointed me until I realized it made the time on the mat more bearable. The housing surpassed the two bunks per room, bath down the hall that I had expected. For four people, we had a suite with kitchen, living room, two bedrooms and two baths. When working out about three hours a day, one shower for two people isn't extravagant. Having a refrigerator for chilling water and freezing ice packs is a must. I didn't realize it until later, but the bowl of M&Ms that Barb set out was a must also.

I'm glad Maureen Sensei warned me to take it easy. That prepared me a bit for the physical strain. Three classes a day seemed to be my peak. I found the 6:30 a.m. classes with Kurita Sensei more lively then I could manage so early in the morning.

I'd never seen so many hakamas in my life. Two-thirds of the people were black belts. I felt intimidated at first, but all my partners were considerate. I still have trouble with my brain telling my muscles what my eyes saw. Luckily, most of my partners either knew what to do or faked it well. Now and then I had trouble finding a partner. A couple of times, someone across the mat had a similar problem and we'd work together. Other times, I took the opportunity to sit out and rest for a technique.

I started off taking care of myself. The first night at camp, several of us went grocery shopping. (Hooray for M&Ms!) The second night, Barb, Maralee and I went sightseeing, and I had fun until my knees creaked with each step. The next day I passed on sightseeing and napped in the afternoon. Later that day I walked to a convenience store with Aaron. I needed a new book, and walking off campus gave me a mental break from camp.

Wednesday evening's black belt tests and fukushidoin recertifications lasted three hours. Once I'd thought that practicing zazen would be interesting; I'm over that idea now. I'm glad I saw Aaron's test, and Maureen's recertification demo was the hit of the night. I enjoyed watching people perk up as she threw Aaron around.

One thing I didn't realize about camp was that the challenges are not just physical but emotional and mental, too. Being introverted by nature, I need time to myself. I'd wanted to sit and read on Wednesday night, but I hadn't wanted to miss the tests. My reaction to not getting this break surprised me. That's when I learned the value of having Summer Camp half a continent away from home. The urge to drive away, never to return, couldn't be acted on. I definitely hit a low. Not the physical low I had expected, though being tired contributed to my mood. I don't remember another time I came so close to saying good-bye to aikido.

I felt better the next day, though still a little low. I didn't feel like ever testing again. However, I figured my aikido couldn't help but improve as MATS matured and produced more black belts.

Chiba Sensei taught the last class of camp -- at 6:30 A.M. I was glad the mats had been rolled up the night before, because instead of taking ukemi, we spent the first half hour doing breathing exercises. The last half hour we worked with bokken. I did find sitting in seiza on a gym floor to be painful.

What do I remember most about Summer Camp? It was the time I fell out of love with aikido. I remember Peter Zalinski saying I'd stay with aikido because I enjoyed throwing everyone so much. He also said that camp was like childbirth -- You forget the pain -- and he appears to be correct. I'm still throwing people, and I find myself wondering about child-care arrangements for next summer. I've even found myself speculating about testing this fall.

I find it perverse that what I came away with from camp wasn't insights into aikido but insights into myself. Though I'm sad to loose the rosy glow of new love, my relationship with aikido has deepened. Just as any relation strengthens by surmounting obstacles, my relationship with aikido and my practice has strengthened. I wonder if I'll remember what I've learned. Maybe I'll find out next year at Summer Camp. See you there!

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