Voice
of the Fox
The Newsletter
of the Martial Arts Training Service
The
Magic of Aikido
by Susan Lazar
Summer 1997
The
protagonists faced one another. The man was very strong, knew karate,
and could take on several men at once and win. The woman knew aikido
and could "only" defend herself. They stood in a challenge
of aggression vs. nonviolence. They were both skilled in their martial
arts. The man attacked. The woman stepped aside, made a subtle, simple-looking
motion, and the man went flying helplessly. The man continued to attack
and he continued to fly. He became exhausted. She stood, relaxed and
secure, smiling. Violence had defeated itself. I've wanted to learn
aikido ever since I saw that movie.
And now I'm finally
doing it.
When I first watched
classes and seminars, the movements looked graceful but the effects
were baffling. Why were such simple movements making some very balanced,
strong-looking people fall? But soon a technique sent me falling, too.
Aikido became a slight of hand show. I came to every class as a child
goes to a magic show.
Watching and talking
about how people learn, I am told by an advanced-level student to "let
yourself be a beginner." I start to ask specific questions. The
movements are complex. I isolate them to where does my foot go, my arm,
at what angle. When it works correctly, I feel just like a child finally
figuring out how to get the square peg in the square hole. The aikido
movements fit the Earth and gravity, my uke, my self, the mat. I am,
for a moment, a graceful magician.
I laugh during aikido.
I giggle. I feel silly at first, an adult in pajamas playing a sophisticated
game of Twister. The challenge is to try to keep my balance while moving
in seemingly impossible ways. As nage, I fall and become my own uke.
Aikido has shown
me a better answer to aggression. I am naturally strong. I am the family
jar opener, furniture mover. It is not a role I enjoy. I know I can
overestimate my strength and get hurt. But aikido shows me strength
is not that important; these are: anatomy, physics, ki, blending with
and then harmonizing the physical aggression.
An uchideshi and
several partners tell me to look, sense, feel for my ki. Finding my
ki, my center, is a challenge. I complete a technique as nage and feel
myself losing balance. Or I come to class tired and lose balance. I
fall before I really have to. I fall cockeyed. I once did an expert
forward somersault after one technique.
I notice in the
beginning that my balance feels different with different-sized people.
So in searching for my ki, I work with different-sized partners. My
belt knot is a focus at first. I learn to look for, and to open, an
inward physical sense of my body. I close my eyes and open an inward
"feel vision." Ki begins as a physical balance.
I hope to become
very good in aikido. My soul, my genuine self, seems to strengthen and
balance better, slowly, more and more as I continue to practice aikido.
My movements in and out of class feel smoother. It is gratifying to
progress even a little. But I hope to never lose the sense of magic
in the dojo, in watching and participating in aikido.